Multiplying Pens! Plagues of Madness!

Posting from work, which is bad, but this is important: my pen just reproduced. I had this black pen, which was nothing special, which just appeared one day. A Papermate Flexgrip Elite (it sounds much cooler than it is. This is no BIC Velocity 1.0...). Then I lost it. Turns out it was in the pocket of pants I don't wear that often. So I find it this morning and take it to work with me. I leave it on my desk, do some things, in and out of the office (from the 6th floor to the 5th to the 6th and back again... it was annoying. Add a point to the 5th floor). I come back and suddenly, there are two of these black pens next to each other on my desk. Asexual reproduction. Mitosis even, if I remember my AP bio, which I don't. I brought one of the pens down to the 5th floor (stupid floor change) and gave it to the secretary. I claimed I stole it from her and was returning it, but secretly I was trying to save the company money by giving her a never-ending supply of pens. Problem being, I'm not sure if it was the parent or the child. Who knows with mitosis?... Anyway, if you hear about 500 people dying in an office building, all by drowning in pens, you know what happend. Crazy multiplicative growth.

While I'm talking about work, it turns out the door in my new 6th floor office closes on its own. I claim it's largely due to the broken doorslow, but it might just be unbalanced. I haven't decided the point value this is. It has some negatives, but also might indicate my office is haunted, which is cool. We'll stand by before making rash point judgements that would change the winner of 5th floor vs 6th floor...