Adventures in Lawyering

Two recent stories that make me maybe question the occupational choices of a number of friends:

Dominic DiCenso owns a pizza shop in Boston that was allegedly a front for a cocaine business (and an illegal discotheque, though that is less pertinent here). State Police performed a sting operation where they successfully bought cocaine from the shop over a number of months. After his arrest they raided his house, finding 1.5 kilos of cocaine, a wad of cash, and numerous weapons. His lawyer's response:

DiCenso's lawyer, Jerry Falbo, said his client is innocent.

"There is no evidence that the defendant participated in any of the exchanges," Falbo said. "The defendant never made an exchange or sell of any drugs to any State Police officer."

And later in the article:

Falbo said DiCenso grew up in the Boston area and had operated West End Pizza for nearly a decade.

"He has a business to run, and this business supports many employees," Falbo said.

I'm all for due process, and the presumption of innocence. And I'm well aware of the bias, intentional or not, in an article such as this, so the cut-and-paste nature of quotes from interviews needs to be taken into account. But I sincerely hope that the Mr. Falbo has a better defense for his client than "He didn't do it; he has no idea how that kilo of cocaine got in his coffee canister" and "He has a business to run; think of his employees!" and "He wouldn't have sold them coke if he knew they were state police officers! I swear!"

Meanwhile, the Woodward and Bernstein of MLB performance enhancement has found his name again associated with steroids. Jose Canseco is apparently on the customer list of a pharmaceutical company that has allegedly been selling steroids, etc. over the Internet. His lawyer quickly came to his defense:

Canseco's attorney, Robert Saunooke, told The Associated Press he would be surprised if the former slugger had been a client.

"I would find it highly unlikely," he said. "All the steroids that he got were prescribed to him or were from people in the gym. There's never been anything he's gotten online."

I'm not a law student nor the son of a law student, but as the boyfriend of a law student it seems to me that "My client never buys his steroids over the Internet; that's ridiculous!" is a defense doomed to fail. I think shouting "Banana Hammock!!" into the microphone might have actually been more helpful to Jose.

And so I say to Renée, and Suzanne, and John, and Katie, and Michelle, and Darren, and Kenny, and in the near future coworkers Josh and Chris: what is WRONG with you? THIS is your career of choice? THESE are the people you strive to be associated with?? GAHHHH!!!!!!!