The history they don't teach you at Marshall Simonds (Or, "Failures in the Public Education System")

I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to diss Burlington ever again. I have just found out two AMAZING facts about the only town I can really call home.

I already knew that Amy Poehler (SNL) and Jay Pandolfo (NHL) both hailed from my old stomping grounds. But I did NOT know that Steven Wright (the comedian) also grew up there. Not a bad alumni list for a smallish suburb...

However, thanks to the joys of Wikipedia, I have found out what might be the greatest useless fact I have ever heard: Burlington may have been ... the birthplace... of the high five. I kid you not. Check it out here.

The high five has been used as a celebratory gesture in sports as far back as 1974. Jack McCullough of Burlington, Massachusetts claims to have been an original inventor of the high-five during CYO basketball competition. Home movies do prove the use of the high five on his basketball team. The gesture caught on very quickly throughout the league, so much so that some consider Burlington to be an unofficial birth place of the high five (though strictly speaking this is probably not true and the town has never publicly made this claim).

Hearsay? An urban legend? The work of some BHS pranksters? Probably, but I'm pretty sure I don't care. If you think I'm not spreading this myth despite its dubious nature, you don't know me at all. How is this not in our town motto?? "The Home of the High Five" should be on every Welcome to Burlington sign and official town document. The Red Devils mascot -- OUT! A giant jumping hand (nicknamed "Fivey"?) -- IN! I may have to run for the Board of Selectmen on this platform alone.


Some other High Five resources...

April 19th, not just another day

A conflicting tale of the origin of the High Five (Lies!! All LIES!!)

US Patent 5,356,330 (Albert Cohen is a hero...)

A smattering of High Five examples, trivia, and the science behind the art

The High Five goodwill ambassador



I've never felt such a sense of hometown pride as I do right now...

Simpsonize Me

In honor of the Simpsons movie, they (whoever "they" are) started a website where you can "Simpsonize" yourself [http://www.simpsonizeme.com/index.php]. You upload a photo, customize a few things, and whammo, they give you the Simpsons-animated version of you. It's nearly the speed of molasses and sometimes doesn't like the picture you upload, but to me it was worth the hassle and pain. This is what I came up with:

I think the 5 O'Clock shadow doesn't really suit me, but I didn't know how to capture my normal scruff. The ears are giant enough, and the eyes and glasses are about as expected, but the hairline may be a bit generous. I nailed the T-shirt though. Go Grey!

UPDATE: I gave it another crack when it wasn't acting up so much, and came up with this:

That's pretty darn me.

Issues

My nose keeps itching, and it refuses to stop.
I can't tie my tie right today. It's either too long or too short, or the knot looks bad.
I keep tripping on nothing in the hall. Not due to new shoes; I've had them for 2 years.
I keep crashing into Will, and then having awkward conversations with him about ties and tripping on the hall.

Though annoying, if these are the only issues I have today, not so bad.

High School Music

Sunshine lollipops and rainbows everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together
Brighter than a lucky penny something something something ... must rhyme with together

This song popped into my head today. For whatever reason, some of us sang it regularly in high school. I forget why, but I certainly remember how. We never really figured out the end part, so we probably just hummed it. I looked it up, but it's easier to remember my version. It was a huge accomplishment the day Michelle P remembered the second line started with "brighter than a lucky penny".

Weekend Update:
Congrats to Mary on her engagement (and thanks for an awesome engagement party, with horses and chickens and trampolines). Way to go Chris and Brad and me for our skills on the baseball field (and the soccer field, which was still the baseball field). I was the only one who was bad at frisbee, but it was because of the wind. I swear!

Opportunities Lost

When opportunity knocks, don't worry if you have a hard time getting out of your La-Z-Boy; someone else will answer...

For the past four years, Chris and I have tirelessly talked about an invention that would catapult us to fame and fortune while changing the way the whole world works: Wireless Electricity. We spent an inordinate amount of time testing the theory that warm air emitted from our mouths at audible frequencies would somehow result in the creation of power for objects around us. As our theory continually suffered setbacks and as our focus waned, researchers from MIT were working on a more promising solution, that involved actual research, effort and experimentation. The result: WiTricity. Strangely, this innovation proves a completely different theory about fluids in the human body: the sweat on your brow is worth much more than the condensation from your mouth. Who knew? This also proves yet again that Tesla was a man ahead of his time. And that Chris and I are a wee bit behind.

On the cool side, in a few years we'll have wireless electricity!

Memorial Day

One of the cooler things about the freedom we have in this country is that we can take things like Memorial Day for granted, and make it about hot dogs and barbecues and traveling and a day off work. I'm not at all saying we should take it for granted; it's just a huge blessing that we can.


But don't.

Things That Are Awesome

Social Experiments

Joshua Bell

Strads

The Washington Post


The Washington Post Magazine asked Joshua Bell, pretty much the best violinist in the world, to perform at L'Enfant Plaza Metro Station (dressed down and with an open violin case) during rush hour, just to see what would happen. Joshua Bell says, "sounds like fun." Check it out here, and some Q&A here.

The article has some video links, and the audio of his full performance is here. There's what sounds like a kid singing along at about the 29 minute mark. Priceless

I'm not quite sure how to react. I think it's an awesome social experiment, as a "what would happen if..." scenario, as long as you're not trying to "prove" anything going in. I think concluding that "people move too fast to notice the beauty in the world" is too easy. I might have missed the Grammy-winning violinist because I was too busy noticing all the bricks in the floor line up perfectly, which is one of "life's everyday beauties" that puts an extra hop in my step. I don't think it says at all that "people don't appreciate the finer things like classical music," or, conversely, that the author was elitist in trying to impose the musical style as something for everyone. What it might say is that excellence is hard to notice if you aren't looking for it. It's a pretty good reminder that we should seek excellence for excellence's sake alone, because in the rare case that we actually attain it, it doesn't mean that anyone else will know or care.

For what it's worth, I'm nearly positive I would have at least noticed that there was Classical Radio-worthy music being played by someone on the street, and maybe would have paused to take a peek. If nothing else, I'd take the time to figure out why a lone violinist sounds like a trio (looking for the hidden speaker, etc). The skill is pretty hard to miss though, even if you are just listening in the background. I've seen Bell live, but I doubt I would have recognized him unless he started in the same dramatic fashion as he did on stage; bent down, arm cocked, bow pointed straight up. He is amazing.

Less Filling, Tastes Gross

I'm not a big fan of aftertaste. Some foods have it, many beers have it, and even particularly strong household cleaners can leave you with a bitter flavor in your mouth. (Yes, when you clean with them. I don't drink household cleaners.) One place I would NOT expect a gross aftertaste is toothpaste. Crest Pro Health, you have major issues, you disgusting minty-carp flavored goop! Blech...

Things are looking up

Stumpas is showing his first new growth, since Doug and I sticked him up.

The seagulls in Quincy Park have been replaced by baseball players. No lines yet, and no fence, but the high school teams are out in spring training. I was so excited to hear the ping of a bat (metal bats don't really crack).

I'm nearly done with a book and about to start another (which I might actually start before I finish the first; I have a problem with finishing things.)

I've been mondo productive at work, and hope to be boffo productive at home too. Like a banshee even.

I got a new mouse. It double clicks only when I click it twice, which is a nice change.

I've learned some valuable lessons about bad planning and quick decisions

Adventures in Lawyering

Two recent stories that make me maybe question the occupational choices of a number of friends:

Dominic DiCenso owns a pizza shop in Boston that was allegedly a front for a cocaine business (and an illegal discotheque, though that is less pertinent here). State Police performed a sting operation where they successfully bought cocaine from the shop over a number of months. After his arrest they raided his house, finding 1.5 kilos of cocaine, a wad of cash, and numerous weapons. His lawyer's response:

DiCenso's lawyer, Jerry Falbo, said his client is innocent.

"There is no evidence that the defendant participated in any of the exchanges," Falbo said. "The defendant never made an exchange or sell of any drugs to any State Police officer."

And later in the article:

Falbo said DiCenso grew up in the Boston area and had operated West End Pizza for nearly a decade.

"He has a business to run, and this business supports many employees," Falbo said.

I'm all for due process, and the presumption of innocence. And I'm well aware of the bias, intentional or not, in an article such as this, so the cut-and-paste nature of quotes from interviews needs to be taken into account. But I sincerely hope that the Mr. Falbo has a better defense for his client than "He didn't do it; he has no idea how that kilo of cocaine got in his coffee canister" and "He has a business to run; think of his employees!" and "He wouldn't have sold them coke if he knew they were state police officers! I swear!"

Meanwhile, the Woodward and Bernstein of MLB performance enhancement has found his name again associated with steroids. Jose Canseco is apparently on the customer list of a pharmaceutical company that has allegedly been selling steroids, etc. over the Internet. His lawyer quickly came to his defense:

Canseco's attorney, Robert Saunooke, told The Associated Press he would be surprised if the former slugger had been a client.

"I would find it highly unlikely," he said. "All the steroids that he got were prescribed to him or were from people in the gym. There's never been anything he's gotten online."

I'm not a law student nor the son of a law student, but as the boyfriend of a law student it seems to me that "My client never buys his steroids over the Internet; that's ridiculous!" is a defense doomed to fail. I think shouting "Banana Hammock!!" into the microphone might have actually been more helpful to Jose.

And so I say to Renée, and Suzanne, and John, and Katie, and Michelle, and Darren, and Kenny, and in the near future coworkers Josh and Chris: what is WRONG with you? THIS is your career of choice? THESE are the people you strive to be associated with?? GAHHHH!!!!!!!

Run of the mill

I did 8 loads of laundry in 2 days. That should cover me for a bit. Remember, I have a pretty small washer, but 8 does seem like a bit much. The fungus on my pants tipped me off that maybe it was time.

I went to the barber today. It's been more than two months, and I was starting to look like a hippie, like David. But my last haircut was awful, and I just needed to find a new, real barber that wasn't a Vietnamese lady trained on the job (I think was like the 3rd customer for one lady. She really needed to work on "The Barber's Touch" as well as "The Cutting of Hair Evenly"). In my life, I've had 5 good barbers: Joe, Tony, Ron, Tony, and Joe. I looked in the phone book, but I didn't find a single Joe or Tony. The next best thing was Pete. Pete did a great job. He's fast, efficient, did what I asked for, and had "The Touch" down (not to be confused with "The Touchdown"). He left hair in my eyes for a little too long, and I could have used a spray down, but otherwise he was just what I was looking for. He cleared out my 2-month-old hack job with skill and efficiency, talked just enough, and cost only $12. Thanks Pete! Random side note: Pete's last name is Xerxes, which was my first screen name on AOL 12 years ago.

Chocolate Pop Rocks say on the back, "Store in a cool, dry place". Unfortunately, this doesn't mean if you put them in a hot dry place (say, in the flame of a lighter) that they combust in any notable fashion. They just melt. Ah well. Guess I need more ping pong balls. Thanks to Amanda for providing the Christmas presents necessary to try this.