My new hero

From the Washington post

The guy who refuses to sell out to The Man.

Dance the Night Away...

So on Saturday I went for a waltz with Kendi, Ellen, B-Rad, Renee, Mary, John, and Juman. It was a Viennese Ball, and it was quite the time. They gave us a sheet so we could mark down a "date" with a particular partner for a specific song. Brad and I decided the only logical thing to do with this was use it as a score card. And of course, we were right. Here are some highlights (all grades reflect my performance, not that of my partner; the ladies all get A++ for dancing acumen, effort, and being such good sports during the foot pounding.)

During lessons -- Partners: Kendi and Ellen
Grade -- D; The Viennese Waltz is very fast and involves a lot of turns, which I had a hard time figuring out. I did awful, and was actually pretty frustrated for a while. Then I got over myself.

2. Trans-Atlantic (A Schottische, or, as I like to call it, a Schlotsky) -- Ellen
B+; After struggling during lessons, I did this up-beat hop-filled dance pretty well, once I got the hang of the hop-and-turn. Let's go to the Hop!

3. Anniversary Waltz (Waltz) -- Kendi
D+; I returned to my struggling ways on this fast Waltz. I couldn't maneuver through the thick crowds, had a tough time getting the turns down, and generally was sub-par.

4. Tango Mimosa (Tango) -- Kendi
B+; I made up for the last one with this one. Kendi and I were a good match for the tango, and I was able to rebuild my shattered confidence. I got my feet under me, and not on top of Kendi's feet any more.

5. Candlelight Waltz (Waltz) -- Renee
A-; Building on my tango success, Renee and I were able to deftly maneuver and muscle for rank ... uh, I mean whirl and twirl and swirl like legitimate dancer-looking people to this slower-paced but fun Waltz.

6. Du und Du (Waltz) -- Ellen
C-; This one was faster. I blame the excess speed for 3 times I stepped on Ellen's foot, but the other 3 times were just me and my clodhoppers. Poor girl. She had bruises. But we pulled it together toward the end, and since my toes didn't hurt much, the grade goes up a little.

Intermission -- Carousel Ride
I rode what may have been a rabbit or the offspring of a donkey and a squirrel. It was a little questionable. But it was fun. And I know how it all works.

7. The Grand March (a medley of march music) -- Ellen
A-; After the first intermission, we all marched around the ballroom for a spell or a spell and a half. Ellen froze during the march, because we kept walking by AC vents. We marched well, and had a good time (other than the Ellen Ice Cube part), but we lost some style points when we went the wrong way as they were splitting the marching party in two. I like the Imperial March (Star Wars)

10. Gift Polka (Polka) -- Kendi
C+; We weren't so hot with the Polka, careening to and fro, but we had an absolute blast in our failure, so it gets an A for fun level.

13. Habañero (Tango) -- NONE
N/A; Renee and I were supposed to Tango. She abandonded me. I stabbed a hole in her name on the card, but how could I stay mad at Renee? Just not possible...

14. Beautiful Blue Danube -- Elise
C+; A nice random lady in a gold dress asked me to waltz, so she and I agreed to do two waltzes, despite myassertionn that I'm no dancer. The first one, I didn't do so hot, (the song kept changing paces just to throw me off), though at the end I spun Elise like crazy, then ended with a very nice dip. That describes me to a tee: Monty, a very nice dip.

15. Waltz of the Flowers (Waltz) -- Renee
B; This was a very pretty song with a very pretty name. Brad, Renee, Kendi and I therefore took this opportunity to institute a trash talking dance. We stayed close and trash talked, and after running out of dancing jokes, we started violently spinning into each other. Brad hip checked me hard, and I attempted to counterattack using Renee, but I usually missed. Poor, clueless, unwitting weapon that she is... Good times!

17. Cotton Candy (Another Schlotsky) -- Ellen
A-; We hopped till we couldn't stop. Then we stopped. But it was a jolly good time.

20. Por Una Cabeza (Tango) -- Kendi
A; My best dance of the night. Kendi and I built on our earlier chemistry for a killer Tango. Now all I need to do is learn how to flip her and dance with roses in my mouth.

21. Gold and Silver (Waltz) -- Renee
A; My second best dance of the night. Renee and I built on our earlier chemistry for a killer Waltz. Now all I need to do is learn how to flip her and dance with roses in my hair.

So all in all it was a great night. Brad even enjoyed it, and he hates everything. I give myself a solid B. I got stronger as the night went along, and I ended on some pretty strong notes. Despite the size of this post, I actually left some things out. Consider yourself spared, and lucky, and honorable if you've actually read all the way to here. Nice job!